The dilemma of personalities.

I crave to live those
moments more often
when I’m all alone,
binging on a comic series
and the laughter is pure,
exceptionally pure.

The moments,
when I outmanoeuvre
the animated genre
of myself
when I ain’t wearing
a smile that wearies me
from within, yet I wear it
anyway to avoid being the
HARE of the race.

Bits, wherein my tongue isn’t
wetting my dried out lips,
dried out, and
dehydrated out of
social anxiety.
When I ain’t feeling
the ugliest of all.

These are the moments
that I keep looking
forward to,
when I ain’t
apprehensive about my
voice before ejecting
it out of my larynx
or uptight about my

My skin,
my hair, my nose, my smell,
and my complete mien.

I desire to relive those
moments over and over again
wherein I can be in my
own shoes, and wherein,
there’s no veil
concealing my true self.

No forgery of
a perfect yet nonexistent
human, no burden of
deceptive smiles and
laughter, or no scuffling
to attain utmost perfection.

to relive those moments
wherein I can be ME again,
and exist in my innate

~puzzled between two personalities,padmaja🌻