Spambush

If you ask someone what according to them is the most dangerous group in the world, chances are you’re bound to get answers like the Taliban, the Naxals, or ISIS. Some believers may even say the Illuminati. But for me, these groups don’t hold a candle near the actual most dangerous of them all: The Family WhatsApp Group.

Hear me out. Even terrorists don’t strike daily. But the minute you wake up and open your phone, you’re bombarded with so many good morning texts that your morning ends up being anything but good. You too are forced to drop one, cause if you don’t, your mamas and mamis will surely eat you up for breakfast.

Their brand of comedy is something that can make you question your own sense of humor. No matter how unfunny they are, make sure you send the most number of laughter emojis. The pride on their faces seeing it is way funnier than the jokes themselves. Speaking of pride, we all noticed the surge in patriotism when it was ‘announced’ India’s National Anthem had been voted as the World’s best anthem right? God Bless the UN.

Just like a terrorist in hiding, there will be one member who rarely makes their presence felt, but carefully loads their ammunition from other WhatsApp groups they’re a part of and BAM! There’s a serial spam blast. Your phone doesn’t know what hit it and vibrates itself off the desk, probably committing suicide. With their mission accomplished, he/she goes back into hiding, planning their next attack.

To top it off there’s religion, fuelling both terrorism and spamming. One picture of a deity ends up being shared in an infinite loop because apparently sharing it to 10 people wards off all the evils. If only this could cure corona, there would be no pandemic to speak of now.

Yes, I am being a bit too harsh on family groups. But c’mon, we can only take a dig at the people you love. The scary reality is that we may laugh and cringe at our family groups all we want, questioning their sense of humor and basic knowledge, until we realize that the same blood runs in our veins too.

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