The moment something, probably anything reminds me of you, I start to get surrounded by all the beautiful memories of ours, and sooner than you can imagine, I decide to drown in them. It’s like my guilty pleasure, living all those moments in my head again, the only difference is that this time I live them alone, without you by my side.
How your voice sounded in my ears, how we laughed for hours on absolutely silly things, talked about our future and ambitions, expressed our emotions without a sense of shame, how you told me that you can’t even imagine a world where I don’t exist and this list goes on without any end.
But then comes a moment where I start to swim aiming to get out of this fantasy world and when I do that successfully, it hits hard, trust me, it pains so much like someone struck a bullet with the gun pointing straight at my heart. Pain that even makes it hard to catch a breathe and all I could ever do in those moments is to bleed this irresistible pain with tears in my eyes.
I even have times where I blame myself for you leaving me and then other times I tend to focus the blame all on you, but honestly, it makes nothing better. The truth still remains the same, that I miss you and missing you makes me realise I am living a life where you don’t belong and it breaks my heart, it just hurts so much. Can’t even possibly say something refreshing to end this because my happiness was equivalent to you and here I am lying all alone, without you.