Fault in our stars

Dear Augustus Waters,

You know, I never completely believed in ghosts or fairies or even afterlife, but since you left I am left with no other choice but to hold on to this hope, so, I really, really wish you would listen to me in whatever ghost form you are in right now and I also hope that you are around me right in this moment just like always with your brightest smile on.

The moment I realised my eyes could no longer see that smile, I felt this immense pain, the pain I never felt even when death was just a step ahead of me, but now that I think about it, my fear is gone because I experienced the thing I was most scared of and came out of it, of course with a broken heart but also with golden memories to heal it back.

I just want to thank you for literally every single thing starting from being my infinity of love to making me realise that it is never about the number of years our life is short of but how can we bring out beauty in every moment of those handful years we have.

So, from now, I will laugh a little more, worry a little less and drink the stars every time I miss you, not with tears in my eyes but with you in my heart. I love you, I love you so much Augustus Waters, I will always remember you because you are just so special and nothing about it will change, ever. Okay?

~ Hazel Grace Lancaster