Our relationship started just like that. And the only thing remember Is you sending me a Hi. It was the worst time I ever had in my whole life. But with you in it, it was totally different. We laughed at silly jokes. Though you did know I was dumb, You never let me down. You said me everything that was happening in your life and so did I. Everything was on point and we became best friends.
Even after that, I felt something, Yes my heart skipped every time I saw you. I couldn’t understand what it was then. But a drive to some random mountain with a good set of songs made an adrenaline rush and that’s how I confessed. Forever might not be true but every moment when I was with you, I wanted to find what it really meant. The days I was far away made you realize who am I to You and that made me fall for you a little more.
There was never a word uttered, but somehow the memories were created with the emotions in each other’s eye. I always wondered how can people hold on without having too much conversation. Later It is our relationship which made me realize it needs understanding and not just words. But as it is always said, there are uncertain phase in everyone’s life and mine happened when we were in distance building our future.
The half an hour talks fell to no more frequent talks and I was affected the most, because when things were not fine previously, I had you to share. Unfortunately now the only thing that is not fine is that I can’t take you on random drives just because I’m bored or hold your hand whenever I miss you and a lot more. People says “Time Heals”, but In my case may be time took a break, so there was no healing.
Complications and overthinking were the only things that were clinging on to me although I wanted to get rid of it at any cost. “I know there were commitments to be done, But am I not one of them ?”, was the only question going on in my head. I know all this individual development and living for ourselves is very much important, Although being on our own makes us happy, In the right situation, life will teach us that we’re dependent on certain people no matter what.
People have said me being clingy will create hate, but I felt hate is better than being fake forever and that’s how I started fighting for my space. I am still fighting. I might not be an extrovert and funny person, but nobody is the same all their life. Every situation changes people and I’m one in all. It became worse when comparison came in. I was the one who was holding on to the past for a long time, but it went upside down when you came up with one.
That’s when I shattered and no more the same. We often tend to pull in the other person’s mistake rather than solving an issue. Finally, the day of questioning my existence happened. And there was no one on my side to share the scenario because the one who accepted me as I am is the one today letting me down. At present, one question that is still ringing in my ears is, ” Am I still your favorite person?”.